funny bible verses

…it can be hard not to giggle at some of the unexpected lessons we are taught throughout the bible. “God said unto John, “Come forth and recieve eternal life. While they are inflamed I will prepare them a feast and make them drunk, that they may become merry, then sleep a perpetual sleep and not wake, declares the Lord. Ehud, another Israelite judge, goes to the King of the Moabites to pay annual tribute. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones. *** “The wicked run away when no one is chasing them…” ~ Proverbs 28:1, NLT A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult. This also I saw, that it [was] from the hand of God.” – Ecclesiastes 2:24, “And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labour, it [is] the gift of God.” – Ecclesiastes 3:13, “A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.” – Proverbs 15:13, “Then I commended mirth, because a man hath no better thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and to be merry: for that shall abide with him of his labour the days of his life, which God giveth him under the sun.” – Ecclesiastes 8:15, Read also: #383 Introvert Quotes With Images, Read also: #473 Solitude Quotes With Images, “Rejoice, O young man, in thy youth; and let thy heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth, and walk in the ways of thine heart, and in the sight of thine eyes: but know thou, that for all these [things] God will bring thee into judgment.” – Ecclesiastes 11:9, “Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.” – 1 Corinthians 10:31, “And there ye shall eat before the LORD your God, and ye shall rejoice in all that ye put your hand unto, ye and your households, wherein the LORD thy God hath blessed thee.” – Deuteronomy 12:7, “Let them praise his name in the dance: let them sing praises unto him with the timbrel and harp.” – Psalms 149:3, “And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill [it]; and let us eat, and be merry:” – Luke 15:23-24, “A merry heart doeth good [like] a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.” – Proverbs 17:22, “And as the ark of the LORD came into the city of David, Michal Saul’s daughter looked through a window, and saw king David leaping and dancing before the LORD; and she despised him in her heart”. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. The driving is like that of Jehu son of Nimshi–he drives like a madman.” – 2 Kings 9:20, “Let those among you who are without sin be the first to throw the stone. When we make the right choices, we have no reason to keep looking over our shoulder, wondering who’s gonna come get us. The Largest Library of Great Quotes and Thoughts! There was drums. Thoughts & Lessons: When we are lazy, we will find excuses for everything. But some of the Pharisees said, “Why are you doing what is not lawful to do on the Sabbath?” And Jesus answered them, “Have you not read what David did when he was hungry, he and those who were with him: how he entered the house of God and took and ate the bread of the Presence, which is not lawful for any but the priests to eat, and also gave it to those with him?” And he said to them, “The Son of Man is lord of the Sabbath.” ... Go, eat your bread with joy, and drink your wine with a merry heart, for God has already approved what you do. ‣ Did you like the Funny Bible Verses that we have listed here? During the time of this story, the judge is Deborah, who, under orders from God, starts a war with the Caananites. M The Son of Man has come eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Look at him! And he received the gold from their hand and fashioned it with a graving tool and made a golden calf. /* Add your own Mailchimp form style overrides in your site stylesheet or in this style block. Ezekiel 23:19, “Now it came about after these things, that it was told Abraham, saying, ‘Behold, Milcah also has borne children to your brother Nahor: Uz his firstborn and Buz his brother.” – Genesis 22:20-21, “And Miriam and Aaron spake against Moses because of the Ethiopian whom he had married: for he had married an Ethiopian woman.” – Numbers 12:1, “Whosoever hideth her hideth the wind, and the ointment of his right hand, which bewrayeth itself.” – Proverbs 27:15-16, “Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. Next: The Rich Young Ruler Bible Story – The Rich Young Man in the Bible. Drink this wine, for it is my blood. Find below 10 funny yet wise quotes from the Bible, funny yet serious quotes from the Bible, plus “Center of the Bible” details (it’s pretty awesome!). There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.” – Ezekiel 23:19-20, “As Paul spoke on and on, a young man named Eutychus, sitting on the windowsill, became very drowsy. Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. Read more on this (very funny story) => There is Time for Everything, #2 of 10 Funny Bible Quotes ~ There’s a lion outside! If taken literally, the verse rips a hole in the idea of the inerrancy of the Bible. To the choirmaster. Literally, these verses appear ludicrous and silly, which is exactly the point! ‣ It's funny how a hello is always accompanied with a goodbye. And God separated the light from the darkness. God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. So help us God, Amen. No one is running after him! Language and culture have dramatically changed since the writing of the Bible – leading to strange and funny Bible verses. Here are five hilarious scriptures, three of which are taken entirely out of context (with a proper context explained). ‣ Then King Nebuchadnezzar sent to gather the satraps, the prefects, and the governors, the counselors, the treasurers, the justices, the magistrates, and all the officials of the provinces to come to the dedication of the image that King Nebuchadnezzar had set up. Well, I think that is pretty self-explanatory. 10 funny Bible verses you have to read to believe Ghosts, witches, and giants—it's all in there. May we always remember that diligence pays off. Let there be guitar. “Let beer be for those who are perishing, wine for those who are in anguish!”. The revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave him to show to his servants the things that must soon take place. A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day. The leader of the Caananite army is a man named Sisera, and during the battle, he runs away. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. She seems to have really keen observation skills. FUNNY BIBLE VERSES THAT MAKE FUN OF WIVES AND WOMEN “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” – Proverbs 21:9 “Worst of all wounds is that of the heart, worst of all evils is that of a woman.” – Sirach 25:12 “A nagging spouse is like Finally, he fell sound asleep and dropped three stories to his death below.”, “It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.”, ” If two men fight together, and the wife of one draws near to rescue her husband from the hand of the one attacking him, and puts out her hand and seizes him by the genitals, you shall cut off her hand. Eat the fat and drink sweet wine and send portions to anyone who has nothing ready, for this day is holy to our Lord. Enjoyed This Post? ‣ How did we do? The vision of Isaiah the son of Amoz, which he saw concerning Judah and Jerusalem in the days of Uzziah, Jotham, Ahaz, and Hezekiah, kings of Judah. Saul had previously tried to kill off everyone who spoke to the dead, so he goes to the witch in disguise. He asks the sun to stop moving so he can buy some extra time in the battle. But what he did was displeasing in the sight of the LORD; so He took his life also.”, “[There is] nothing better for a man, [than] that he should eat and drink, and [that] he should make his soul enjoy good in his labour. ‣ But do nothing to these men because they have come under the shelter of my roof.” – 11. I have set the Lord always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. ‣ These unusual bible verses are funny, but we can definitely gain wisdom from reading them. Don’t make your spouse wish they lived in the desert! Finally, he fell sound asleep and dropped three stories to his death below.” – Acts 20:9, Remark – Dear preachers, please take this as a warning. The old has passed…, “The disciples had forgotten to bring bread, except for one loaf they had with them…. And when the king saw Queen Esther standing in the court, she won favor in his sight, and he held out to Esther the golden scepter that was in his hand. Such a vivid description. Editor’s note: This article is regularly updated for relevance. Blog, A Get the latest funniest memes and keep up what is going on in the meme-o-sphere. “When the unclean spirit has gone out of a person, it passes through waterless places…, “We also have the prophetic message as something completely reliable, and you will do well…, “Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines,…, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. Funny (mis)Quoted Verses From The Bible. Funny Bible Verses, Quotes & Scriptures – Funny but true Quotes from the Bible All Funny Scripture Quotes are Positive Bible Passages we can learn from. What is your request? ... Do not speak in the hearing of a fool, for he will despise the good sense of your words. They are like children sitting in the marketplace and calling to one another, “‘We played the flute for you, and you did not dance; we sang a dirge, and you did not weep.’ For John the Baptist has come eating no bread and drinking no wine, and you say, ‘He has a demon.’ The Son of Man has come eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Look at him! “Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. There was light. A glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed. “Blessed are you who are hungry now, for you shall be satisfied. He will yet fill your mouth with laughter, and your lips with shouting. Two scriptures aren’t ripped out of context…but they are just hilarious!

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